The Next Generation

My youngest is getting less cute and more savage as she grows - particularly now she's a teenager.  She is also a comedy genius - way funnier than I ever am!  When she contracted shingles, she walked around the house singing, "all the shingle ladies."  I've been keeping note of her comments and one-liners for the last six years or so and plan to bring them out at some point.  Like her 21st birthday party.  Or her wedding - which, she currently insists, will be to Kermit the Frog.  

I thought I'd share a few of her observations:

• On being likened to a burger by her sister: "Nah, my buns are way better!"
• "I've eaten so many calories I feel like Santa."
• When Dad told a bad joke: "Mum, when can we chuck him out?  I've got the papers.  All you need to do is sign!"
• When Dad bought a convertible: "Even I'm taller than it, it's so small!  I mean, seriously, it's just a silly car!"
• "AC/DC sounds like dying cats throwing up enchiladas."
• When she'd been cheeky: Me: "You'd better be nice, or we'll cancel your birthday on Friday!"  Her: "...Can I start being nice on Thursday?"
• Dad: "Just remember, you're the way you are because of your parents."  Her: "Shoot me."
• When offered a samosa: "No way.  It's a pastry of death and vegetables."
• Dad: "Have you been doing your Daily Mile at the park?"  Her: "No, I don't need to anymore.  I think you do though, there's a lot of meat on you."

God help us all!